It is so much easier to see what other people need than to see what we need ourselves. It seems there is a universal stigma against asking for help for ourselves, even when it is desperately needed.

The most typical reason is that we are afraid that seeking help may be perceived as a weakness, because admitting one’s need for help somehow equates to no longer being able to handle one’s own affairs. But the truth is admitting you need help doesn't mean you are weak, it actually means the opposite. You are strong enough to understand that you, and every other human being, occasionally needs someone to lean on, or a small amount of help to maintain independence, and well being.

Never think you aren't strong because you make an appointment to talk to someone about what you're going through. Admitting you can no longer do everything you used to do on your own is not “giving in”, it is a positive step forward.

Sometimes the generation now in their 80’s is referred to as the “silent” or “stoic” generation - meaning that they prefer to rely on no one else, and would prefer to suffer on in silence. This is a very modern take on the word “stoic”, and not at all what was meant by the philosophers who coined the term.

Marcus Aurelius, one of the three men who crafted stoicism as a philosophy, and a master general who ended up ruling the known world, said “Don’t be ashamed of needing help. You have a duty to fulfill just like a soldier on the wall of battle.  So what if you are injured and can’t climb up without another soldier’s help?” So even the original stoics understood there is no shame in asking for help when it is needed. Struggling along in silence is not noble; it can be very detrimental to your ongoing health, and to the well being of your family and friends.

At COA your well being is paramount. So we beg you to be a true stoic, and when the time comes that help is needed, talk to our social workers. With some simple services in place you can alleviate your difficulties, get all the help you need, when you need it, and get on with living a happy, healthy life in your own home, and on your own terms.